I often get asked questions about sex issues and concerns by my patients, so here I tried to put together common Q & A which could help with some of your own curiosities or difficulties.
Q: Should sex be viewed in a similar light to nutrition and exercise, as it related to overall health?
A: Yes and No. This is not a black and white situation.Here is why: From the purely medical standpoint (very Western point of view), sexual activity increases the heart rate, improves circulation and lymphatic drainage, and increases the metabolism, and therefore provides all the cardiovascular exercise benefits of the exercise. HOWEVER, if we look at sex from the Eastern philosophy perspective – a more Mind-Body approach, sex is one of the expressions of your affection towards another human being by combining your energy with theirs. Now, if you are merging your energy with someone you love – the result is clearly positive. However, if you are in an unhappy relationship or if sex is being used as an artificial remedy for unhappiness – it will bring zero Mind-Body benefit, because on the subconscious level, the person feel numb and disconnected.
Q: I read somewhere that in the last ten years adults over 40 have been having less sex. Is it true and why.
A: From my clinical experience it may be true. There are many reasons why adult people could be having less sex nowdays:
-Overwhelmed by in formation overload (TV, online, print)
-Adults, and especially those with kids, have less time for sex
– People work more and are too tired by the time they get home
– More working mothers who are too tired to have sex because they have to juggle so many things during the day.
-Overworked/stressed fathers who can’t sustain an erection.
– Many people are on certain antidepressants, such as SSRIs, which cause depressed libido in women and inability to ejaculate in men.
As far as what came first: decline in sex or decline in happiness? I believe that lack of happiness led to lack of sex, as you can easily deduced from the reasons above. Of course, it’s a speculation, but isn’t our whole life just a point of view?
Q: How can one improve sex life?
– We should try to create a romantic and spontaneous environment which made us want to have sex with our partner in first place.
– For those who are overworked, vacation is one way to achieve a happy and relaxed state, conducive to sex.
-Alcohol, on the other hand, is a huge “downer” as far as sexual performance and stamina goes, so I always tell the patients, to drink as little as possible, if they want to be truly in tune with their sexuality.
– In my clinical practice, Medical Hypnosis and Energy Therapy are helping many clients to balance their sex life back to normal.